Top ten things I've learned during my Mid Life Crisis

The idea for this list came to me today as I sat behind the world's most terrifying van in traffic. It was the world's most terrifying van because it had about 8 ladders stacked up on top of it. Some seemed to be strapped down while others clearly were not. A scene that could easily be featured in the next Final Destination movie played out in my head as I watched the ladders rattle and move. What if something happened and I hadn't shared all of my deep thoughts on life??? Just kidding about deep thoughts, but I do think I've learned a few things that I thought I would like to share.

1.  Your mood, attitude, negative Facebook statuses etc. are contagious!! especially to those around you which are mostly the people that matter the most. I can be in the world's greatest mood then suddenly read a negative post, come across a negative family member, or get the dreaded Debbie Downer text message and POOF! Good bye good mood. Oh and I'm not blameless. I do it too....plenty. At least when I do it on social media I can and usually do immediately take it down. But when it's sent as a text or happens in person it's too late. Your negative B-O-M-B has already gone off. Everyone is entitled to an off day, just try to minimize the collateral damage.

2.  The cure for the above mentioned negative bomb is, in my opinion, one of these three things:

      * Exercise - ya, I know not always high on your priority list. But if you just take 10 minutes to go on a   walk it will do wonders for you. Grab the dog and leash and it's a guaranteed attitude adjustment.

      * Solitary Confinement - disappear, wherever, even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom. Give   yourself an internal pep-talk (so no one thinks your nuts). Cry if you have to. Then pick yourself up and get back out there.

      * Play your theme song LOUDLY. Grab your iPod, put in your ear buds, and have at it. Belt it out too. It's amazing what music can do for your attitude. 

3.  Try new things! 

Seriously you must. Trying new things is one way to stay young at heart. It is in the moment of challenging yourself mentally or physically that you will feel most alive. My husband has dragged me (sometimes kicking and screaming) into trying many activities most of which I thought I would hate but ended up LOVING. Some of the things on my list are scuba diving, kayaking, mountain biking, camping, and shooting just to name a few. Besides the challenge of trying something new, doing these things together will solidify your bond . It's a win-win. So be fearless and push yourself out of your comfort zone.

4.  Some people are just not meant to be in your life, long term. 

We've all had them. Friendships that are forced, maybe out of a mutual need, maybe because your kids are friends, maybe because you are neighbors or coworkers. When that need or necessity is gone so is the friendship and that's ok. I believe that everyone that you let into your life is there for a reason, some are just not meant to stick around forever.

5.  Make plans for what you want your life to look like in 10,20, 40 years.

 Goal setting is important to living a happy life, even when the choices are hard.  Dealing with aging family members has truly forced  me into thinking long term. Do you have plans for when you are elderly? Have you shared them with anyone? My husband and I both agree on a 100%  "no burden policy". The second our sons are visiting us only because of necessity or guilt and not because they genuinely WANT to visit is when   we'll head to the home. Who doesn't like to color and play bingo?!! But seriously think about these things, and talk about them. Make your wishes known, it really does take a lot of worry off of you and your loved ones.

6.  Vacations can happen in your own backyard, or your friend's. 

You don't have to spend big money on a big trip to get away for a mental holiday. Some of my favorite memories were made just exploring our own little area of Florida. A bike ride on the beach is sometimes just enough to rejuvenate your mind and your body. Make a commitment to explore where you live. There are millions of options that can all be found with a quick Google search of your little corner of the world. Go see the sights like you're a tourist! Fall back in love with where you live.

7.  Life begins and ends at the dinner table. 

Not literally of course. My family eats together at the dinner table nearly every single night. There are some exceptions but they are few and far between. Gathering around the table may seem old fashioned but I think it's the glue that has made our family so close. The together time gives us all a chance to spend time together with no electronics and no interruptions. Some of our best political debates, life decisions, vacation planning, and family laughs come around that table. I know it's not always practical to eat together, life happens, but if you make it a priority and commit to doing it as much as possible your relationships will benefit exponentially. 

8.  You're not always right. 

This is a hard pill to swallow...what do you mean I'm not always right? I love a good debate as much as the next guy but your opinions are not fact. I'm pretty sure your views on religion aren't going to cause a global religious shift. I'm pretty sure your thoughts on politics aren't suddenly going to persuade all of your friends to change political affiliations,   your pro-gun friends probably aren't going to suddenly  turn anti-gun,  your meat eating friends aren't going to wake up tomorrow and become vegetarians. Maybe these things will happen but it is unlikely to be because "YOU WERE RIGHT".  There is a difference between debating issues and cramming your ideologies onto others. For the sake of your relationships I hope you choose debate. 

9.  Your kids aren't you. 

Yes, in most cases you made them, carried them for 9 months, and gave birth to them but they are not you. They are little individuals that grow into big individuals. Let them be who they are with some awesome guidance from you, but NOT interference.

10. Laugh at yourself. 

I'm pretty sure I laugh at myself at least once a day. Whether it's because I dropped something for the gazillionth time, forgot why I walked into a room, tripped on a dog or dog toy, said something stupid, thought something stupid, did something stupid, or looked really stupid -  laughing really is the best medicine. A good belly laugh is good for the soul too. Don't take yourself so seriously! Lighten up and laugh at the wonderful uniqueness that is YOU.

Whew, I'm tired. This is probably the most personal thing I've written. I'm hesitant to share but maybe something I said will mean something to you. Also this is probably my mid life crisis talking (I haven't even opened the wine yet)    :)

~XOXO jules